All parents are imperfect people, doing their best with the life skills they have. As we grow from children to adults, we realize our parent's flaws. And it is okay to say that we wish they could have been better for us. I do not want anyone to think I am enabling destructive cycles. Growth and understanding are the objectives, not enablement.
Children look up to their parents. Parents are considered experts, perfect in character, and full of knowledge and wisdom through their children's eyes. Most parents are faking it 'til they make it, praying their choices and actions don't damage their kids.
I had my first child at nineteen. I remember eventually realizing I was clueless about everything, not just parenting.
I remember thinking my parents knew it all! My parents were just kids in their twenties, doing their best to raise three small children. I was the oldest of my siblings, so I came onto the scene when my parents were eighteen and twenty-two. Both of my parents came from broken homes and individually scarred pasts. It turns out their parents weren't perfect either.
My mom and dad learned about love and self-control by watching their parent's interactions. Marriages centered around abuse, lies, and disrespect were the most prominent examples in my parents' childhood. Those marriages eventually ended in divorce. My parents tried their best to love each other without understanding real love.
Copyright Sarah Harbut